A Cure

for Hoaxes

The information below is of unknown origin. We received a first version in March 2000. One of our shrewd Hoax Bulletin subscribers came across a modified version. We have combined both versions.

 
It is well worth (and fun) reading. For once, as an educational tool and to make people think through what they receive, you may send the URL (Net address: http://www.sdsltd.com/net_hoaxes.htm) to anyone who sends you a chain letter (or to everyone in your address book). It might help stanch the flow of thousands of useless e-mails. The aim? To unclog the Internet! Once you finish reading the information below, click on the Virus page link at the bottom of this page for more educational material!
 YOU FELL FOR ONE OF THESE HOAXES... maybe? Just possibly???
DON'T FEEL LONELY! BUT... THIS SHOULD CURE YOU!
"Whoever decided to create this note should receive some type of cyber-humanitarian award...."
(Our shrewd and incognito Hoax Bulletin subscriber)
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letters.
You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true." Furthermore, just because someone said in a message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true.
 
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please read this story.
 
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None have." That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.
 
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy here. Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.

I'd scrutinize the ingredient amounts of the chain letter recipe you receive PRETTY closely! Just compare Neiman Marcus's and your chain letter's recipe proportions. They're inconsistent. What's wrong with this picture? Eh?

 
4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chainletter?
 
5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, EVER, E-V-E-R forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses. (Check out a variety of such sites provided by Sherman Dynamics & Security Ltd.)
 
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download....ya know, like, a FILE!
 
6. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
 
7. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
 
8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. (Think Cut and Paste.) It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the "..." or the ">" that begin each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it.
 
9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
 
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.
 
11. Also, the American Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each person you forward e-mail to. They
ask for you to donate money, they don't give it, as if they could know how many e-mails you sent out...sheesh.
 
12. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
 
13. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and NEA funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the present time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.
 
14. There is no Federal Bill 602P or any other bill pending before Congress that will allow long-distance companies to charge you for using the Internet. is a non-existent
 
16. KFC really does use real chickens with feathers and beaks and feet. No, they really do. Not the mutant kind. Why did they change their name? In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED may not be considered healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.
 
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true.
 
Now copy, paste, and send this to everyone you know or the program I just put on your hard drive while you read this E-mail will open up your CD-ROM and reach out and slap you upside the head...
 

(The Work of Probably Many Unknown Authors)

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Original Page: 15 March 2000
Last Update: 23 June 2003 
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